My name is Meng Li (pseudonym), born in 1987 in Yishui County, Shandong Province. My obsession with the Church of Almighty God cult destroyed my originally happy marriage.

Growing up in rural China, I yearned to change my destiny after entering college, determined not to repeat my parents' life of poverty. Reality, however, proved harsh. After graduation, unable to find satisfying work, I remained in my village and soon married a local man, Xiao Wang. After our son was born, my husband worked away from home while I stayed back farming with our child. Though he cherished us deeply, my unemployment left me perpetually discontent.

When our child turned three, I entrusted him to my mother-in-law and started a cosmetics business. Though earnings were modest, I felt a glimmer of hope. To expand, I borrowed 20,000 yuan from relatives and opened a beauty salon in Yangzhuang Town. Lacking experience, I had to close the shop within two years. The failure devastated me. Anxious about repaying my not-so-affluent relatives yet unwilling to surrender, I grew desperate. Then, a middle school classmate approached me, urging me to believe in a "God" who could solve all problems. Frustrated and unwilling to give up, I became deeply captivated by this proposition.

I joined the Church of Almighty God, hoping it would transform my circumstances. At the time, I genuinely believed I was following Jesus, since the cult preached its "Female Christ" as Jesus' second incarnation. With elderly relatives at home practicing Christianity, I assumed this was the same faith and never questioned the cult's doctrine.

I remember feeling an immediate sense of clarity and relief after the first gathering. The "sisters" (as the Church of Almighty God members call each other) shared their troubles openly, providing an emotional outlet. They assured me devout belief would earn "God's" protection, making me feel I'd found new hope in life. Unknowingly, I grew increasingly obsessed.

In 2016, my second year of believing in this "God," a fellow believer told me that faith required "preparing good deeds"—dedicating myself to "spreading the gospel" as "God" demanded. Otherwise, I would be deemed insincere, forfeiting protection and facing punishment. With no money and still burdened by previous business debts I was hiding from, the idea of leaving home to "spread the gospel" took root. My child was only five years old. My heart ached at the thought, but believing this mission would secure his future and let me earn money to repay debts, I hardened myself, left him with his grandmother and father, and departed without a proper goodbye.

Following orders, I moved through multiple locations working for "God," an absence that stretched eight years. I cut all contact with my family, fearing exposure—fellow believers strictly forbade sharing my situation or whereabouts with outsiders, including family. They claimed Jesus was working in secret this time, so our faith must also be clandestine. During those years, I missed my child intensely, a pain beyond words. Seeing boys his age, I'd stare helplessly, often weeping. Yet, hoping for "God's" protection, I endured the longing, never returning home.

Living covertly meant my work was intermittent. I earned little, and what I did earn was spent entirely on "spreading the gospel." Confronted with my reality, I felt conflicted and questioned my fellow believers. They dismissed my doubts, insisting this was "God" "refining and testing" us before providing help.

In April 2024, as I prepared to distribute printed the Church of Almighty God materials, a public report led to my discovery. Facing public security officers, I remained stubborn, refusing to give my real name. Eventually, the authorities located my family through persistent effort. I learned they had searched for me everywhere after I left and had filed a police report.

Seeing my parents—stooped, aged, and visibly worn—shattered the resolve I had maintained for years away from home. For the first time, a thought pierced my staunch belief: "This 'God'… I can't believe anymore." The foundation of my belief began to crumble in that moment.

Later, with assistance from public security officers and anti-cult volunteers, I finally recognized the cult nature of the Church of Almighty God and completely broke free from its psychological control. However, what filled me with lifelong regret was discovering that my husband had remarried. After searching for me for over three years without success, he had lost hope and reluctantly chosen to remarry so our child would have someone to care for him.

Eight years of "spreading the gospel" had not brought me the better life promised; instead, the Church of Almighty God cost me my originally happy family. Reflecting on the harm my deep involvement with the cult caused, I am overwhelmed with remorse. To atone for the pain I inflicted on my family, I am determined to completely turn over a new leaf and start life anew.With the government help, I found a job at a supermarket. Though the work is demanding, the income is decent. I am committed to repaying my debts and caring for my parents through my own efforts—not through the alleged protection of any "God." I want to tell those still trapped in the Church of Almighty God: it is a deceptive cult. The only true path to liberation is to break free from it as soon as possible.

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